Monday, October 6, 2008

fall on me

I am so glad  that fall weather is pretty much here. 
I just came back from a 6 mile recovery run. Boring. And at mile 1 I was thinking, this is boring, I wish I hadn't fried my ipod so I could at least get through this with an hour of This American Life. Then a cyclist friend of mine rode up to me and kept me company for a few miles so that made it better.

But kind readers, I have a bigger issue to discuss with you all here today.
A delicate subject some might say. The only adults I have ever heard talk about uncontrollably shitting themselves are runners, triathletes,  people with stock in depends, and adult babies. It's a bit of a joke in the running and tri world, the other two...well...I know nothing about.
Saturday was Grete's Great Gallop, a half marathon celebrating Greta Waitz, 9 time winner of the NYC marathon. 1 time accidental shitter. But hey, if there's a huge novelty check waiting at the finishline with your name on it and a lot of zeros, by all means, let go.
If not. Really. Dont.
I ran this race as my last long run in my training cycle. My goal was to run it as a long run, not fast, comfortable, and to cheer on my teamates as this is a team points race.
At mile 12.5, I passed this woman who was not young. Really not young. And guess what was running all down her legs.
Yup.
So I though, ok, maybe this happened at like mile 10 and she really wants to finish.
Nope, as I later found out, my friend Hilary passed her at mile 9. In the same condition.
I did noticed that she was also bleeding, mostly likely from the nasty chaffing. The whole thing was so not pretty.
I saw her a few minutes after crossing the finish line giving a half hearted effort to clean herself up.
About 15 minutes laters, I was in the baggage corral with my friend Ishii and we both just looked at each other. I was like oh my god what is that smell?
I turned around, there she was.
Now people, this is a big event as most NYRR races are. There's medical tents, there's volunteers every where. You've got HUMAN SHIT all over yourself, please get someone else to get your bag.
This morning, when I was talking to Hilary and found out that she passed her at mile 9, I also found out that she didn't just get her back and high tale it home, as, I would hope, most people who just shit all over themselves would.
Oh no, there were free waffles and lox to be had, so she just got her stinky ass right in line.
Come on people.
Come on.

4 comments:

Flo said...

ROTFLMAO!!! IN LINE FOR FOOD??? This is beyond gross and hilarious, this is in it's own dimension of space and time. I LOVE this!!

What could have been going through her mind? And I take it she was alone after the race? No friends to eat with? Sounds like a bit of a screw loose, "bit" being the generous word.

Congrats on your final double-digit, feels weird having that done, doesn't it?

As for adult babies, such a curious fetish...

DogPound said...

yea, clearly there was not something right there. And who is going to go up to this woman and be like, "hi, would you like some help?"

it does feel weird, not much time left!

Ovens2Betsy said...

I'm speechless! I would immediately leave the course for fear of dying of embarrassment (she puts the "ass" in embarrassment!)

Best of luck this weekend!

- EatDrinkRunWoman

TiredMamaRunning said...

I can almost see her with a defiant "what....EVERYONE shits themselves and gets in line for waffles" look there waiting. There are no words...really...........